Wild Micro-organisms

"There are beautiful wild forces within us."
-St. Francis of Assisi

I am recovering from the handiwork of a microorganism quite gifted at turning me completely inside out within a matter of hours. I keep telling myself that this guy was in the minority. The majority of microorganisms wildly roaming the planet both inside and outside of my skin are good guys, right? Then a mean one hits, and you think: Eradicate! Get the Anti-bacterial Soap and scour! It's you or them, baby.

But what would be left? You Are them! We are 10x more bacteria cells than human cells (wikipedia with cites). Between that and being 90% water, I think I must be only .5% human… which is nice, considering the reputation.

These things we cannot see but are told exist all around, like fairies, spirits and angels of life and death, scientifically called microorganisms, roam freely through us with every breath, every sip, every munch. These invisible agents transform decay into life. They metamorphose our food and drink into something more nutritious, digestible, and enjoyable than before.

The king of wild fermentation (if wild microorganisms could be said to have a king) is Sandor Ellix Katz, author of Wild Fermentation. His playful and edifying book recently lead me through several lively experiments with the invisible wild that apparently (obviously) roams my kitchen. Katz describes wild fermentation methods for meads, beer, sauerkraut, miso, gruels, and more. Wild Fermentation asserts that food gone bad is actually good. Just the sort of iconoclastic thinking that can turn us wild again, the .5% part that isn't already.

Despite the power of prior disasters and a proven incompetence at both wine and jam making, my untamed will-power overwhelmed my higher faculties and proceeded to try my hands at Hard Cider. I used un-pasteurized cider, made by our own family at Bishop's Orchard in Garfield (despite their stern orders to pasteurize). Katz doesn’t specify "un-pasteurized", but simply fresh without preservatives. In a sterilized and de-sterilized plastic milk jug, we set the cider on the counter, with 1-2 layers of cheese clothe rubber-banded over the lid to keep out the flies. Within 4 days, bubbles effervesced from the bottom. In five days, the cider was sweet, bubbly and only very mildly intoxicating. One woman, we'll call "Kathrine," liked it very much and sources say she was seen downing several large mugs of the stuff. The next day it was a little harder, but still pleasant, though blue mold needed to be fished from the cups as an aesthetic matter. I will transfer it to an wide-mouth jar and place it on the counter with a couple buddies for a few more weeks to make vinegar, thanks to the direction of one wild and free, Mr. Katz.

Several imbibers found the blue mold disconcerting. I recall that the worlds first antibiotic, penicillin, was derived from moldy bread. Katz suggests removing the funky top layer to get to the good ferment below. He assures readers that he has never heard of food poisoning from improperly fermented foods, although that does not exclude the possibility. He elucidates that the process of fermentation, alcoholic and acidic in nature, creates a hostile work place for the food-poisoning types. However, he warns that if it doesn't taste good or right, don't eat it.

Wild Oatmeal (subsequent post) is allegedly more nutritious and digestible than sober oats. Additionally, we thrilled at the creamy sauce, chewy texture and rich flavor. I ate oatmeal three times that day! I hate oatmeal!

I anticipate adventures with Katz's sauerkraut, Ginger bug soda, Ethiopian honey-wine, and anything not referencing complex ideas such as carboys, siphoning, and several years.

Like all wild and free foods, microorganisms come with an embedded philosophy. Katz attributes Pasteur's microbiology as spawning "a sort of colonial outlook toward microorganisms…they must be dominated and exploited." In a treatise to local cultures (pun intended) he bemoans the "homogenization of culture," and large, corporate, sterile brewing schemes.

Let us join Mr. Katz and resist enculturation with enculturation of the wild kind. With our .5% human selves, freer still, perhaps we will then be the organisms who ferment the culture around us with salubrious insobriety and sparkling verve.

And I am absolutely sure that my state of dyspepsia was Not caused by any hooch. Promise.