Pineapple Weed

Who will be the next Miley Cyrus? Who? A question, generated by internet news engines, which burns deep in the minds of the Palouse's more cosmopolitan residents.Will Hannah Montana be replaced? Can she be?

As a po-dunk, hokey resident with a strained relationship with the information age, my big question is: who would want to be the next anybody? Bob Dylan, Shakespeare, Judy Blume: would you be the Next? In my fuzzy dream of this world, no one should want to be a sorry copy of anyone else. Nobody sings their soul to be a second rate substitute.

And that is why our sympathies and understanding should be accorded Mr. Pineapple-weed. "Experts" compare Mr. Pineapple-weed to chamomile without flower petals. Mr. Pineapple-weed's Latin handle Matricaria discoidea is just one off from Chamomile's Matricaria recutita. The affects of Mr. Pineapple-weed's tea compare favorably to the mild, soothing reputation of Chamomile tea. And his English name, Pineapple-weed, announces his odiferous likeness to the spiky, tropical fruit.

How would you like to go through life with people saying things like, "Oh, I do know that Sarajoy. She's looks just like Sally and talks a lot like Arthur." No Thank You! Or perhaps you're name is Sally-esc or Arthur-itic. Compare and Contrast.

Therefore, I will refer to the edible, frilly, silly-looking plant of Pineapple-weed by a different name that hopefully doesn't compare it to something else: Mr. Weed. Admittedly this new "unique" name sounds much too generic and/or as if I'm comparing it to another plant with which, I assure you, there are no similarities aside from their propensity to photosynthesize and grow roots.

Unfortunately, in order to describe a new plant to you, I will need to do the dreaded comparing and contrasting on Mr. Weed anyway, whether I want to or not. His leaves are alternating and ferny, growing up the stems to the plant's height of a foot or less. The chartreuse flowers are like coney domes. It really does look just like Chamomile without the white flower petals and with more pronounced heads.

Where will you find the next Chamomile Pineapple? I have never looked further than my front walk. On second thought, perhaps I have looked as far as my gravel driveway. Unless you are missing the sense of sight, you've seen these around. Once mowed, Mr. Weed hunkers down with lawn, especially in municipal parks.

When will you find Mr. Weed? Barring the return of our over-zealous Warden Winter to imprison us, Mr. Weed should be hanging out in inauspicious places from May to July or beyond.

For such a humble and goofy plant, it's uses are many and mild. Mr. Weed can be steeped into a relaxing tea. The fruity floral heads are also passively nibbled by my young as they meander about the yard seriously attending to the business of play. Once Mr. Weed was introduced to the "New" world, Native American children also enjoyed grazing on the flower tops.

Apparently an insect repellent, dried Mr. Weed was sprinkled upon food to keep away flies by the Flathead of Montana. Mr. Weed also has a history with the Ktunaxa and Stl'atl'imx as air freshener (Food Plants of Interior First Peoples by Nancy J. Turner). And others used it as baby bedding and pillow filler. (Edible and Medicinal Plants of the Rockies by Linda Kershaw).

Ms. Turner notes that Mr. Weed's scientific name means "mother-care". Ms. Kershaw concurs with a list of uses for pre-, mid- and post- natal care.

If you have an aster or ragweed allergy, use caution with Mr. Weed.

Mr. Weed may look and smell like many things, but the combination is ironically unique: looks like Chamomile without white petals but smells like pineapple. Nothing else really matches this description, although I can imagine a messed up scratch-n-sniff sticker.

Who will be the next Miley Cyrus? Nobody, not even Mr. Pineapple-weed.

As with any consumable, be sure you've got the real thing before you partake.