Plantain

Plantain is an unusual type of banana sold in stores. Somewhere, sometime, those plantains were wild edibles, needing only to be deep fried in coconut oil for palatability. But not in these parts. The plantain of which I speak today is related as homonym only to the above.

Latin Plantago major does not mean Major Plant, or even God of all Plants and does not harken from the word Plant (from the Latin plante, meaning plant: Webster's Unabridged, 1954). Rather it means "foot-sole" for it's round flat leaves that hug the earth like the soles of gravity bound earthlings.

Some Native Americans referred to Plantain as White Man's Foot because it followed in the foot step of settlers (Growing and Using the Healing Herbs by Weiss and Weiss). The immigrant and one-time genocide harbinger, Plantain, is also called: Waybread, Waybroad, Snakeweed, and of course #@%!!! by obsessive lawnistas. Plantain overtakes a lawn in short order, which is lucky for us. If you don't have a lawn, visit your closest park. It will be there. A favorite place for plantain is the green slope at Gladish Community Center in Pullman. My six-year-old daughter has, perhaps unwisely, taught her pals to identify and devour the playground plantain at "recess". She claims it eliminates the need for packaged snacks.

You too can eliminate the need for packaged snacks by seeking out this earth-hugger.  It's rosette of ribbed, green, round, papery, juicy leaves grow on the ends of fleshy stalks. Pick plantain with rounder leaves as the kind with the narrow leaves is less tasty. From the center of the rosette, a tall thin stalk with cream-colored wispy "flowers" will eventually grow to almost 12". Hundreds of small seeds, suffused with lawn-conquering potential, will then hug the length of the stalk.

With certainty, identify this plant, far from any signs or signage indicating "this area just poisoned." Gather the young leaves before the seed stalk grows. Age causes the leaves to toughen unpleasantly and become a stringy gagging hazard, though not poisonous, per se.

The fresh spring leaves taste of mild mushrooms, though some claim a Swiss chard flavor. Use as salad greens, sandwich dressing, soup additions, and roasted side-dish. If you're hesitant about that "wild" flavor, this is your baby.

For your insignificant effort, you will be rewarded with Vitamins A, C and K. You will devour a mild mucilaginous laxative, anti-bacterial flavenoids, allantoin (good for tissue) and mild tannins (Edible and Medicinal Plants…). The FDA has not examined, approved, nor disapproved of these claims, nor is it expected to.

For the tiny additional effort of drying leaves, you will gain year round access to a tea with several centuries experience is soothing sore throats, bronchitis, coughs, etc. (Edible and Medicinal…)

Externally, Plantain poultices have been used the world over for rheumatic joints, insect bites, sunburns, poison ivy, blisters, and other skin irritations. Poultice: mash fresh leaves or dip fresh leaves in hot water and place them on area of concern. In the Wild West, fresh plantain treated snake bites, if they couldn’t be avoided. Ms. Weed, if that is indeed her name, recommends Plantain leaves for perineum support during labor, diaper rash, and hemorrhoid help (Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year).

A cousin of colon-cleanser Psyllium seeds, Plantago major seeds (available beginning mid-summer) similarly exfoliate the colon. Additionally, soaking the seeds in a little water produces a gelatinous salve for thrushy nipples or a natural hair gel, or both, if you have really hairy nipples.

Plantain roots have been recommended for toothaches, headaches and bad gums (Edible and Medicinal…).

It exhausts me just to think about it all. Clearly, if you ache, Plantain wants to help. This plant offers basically everything under the sun, even it's own earth-hugger energy. Although Plantago major does not even loosely translate into Major Plant, it should.

Plantain invites you to take off your shoes and plant your plantars in the dirt with him. You're soles easily remember how to hug the earth. In Remembrance, Take and Eat this scrumptious hugger. Plantain is the Waybread-wafer of redemption, as we return to the free gifts of this world: heaven is earth.